The Amusing, Odd & Creepy Amazon Online Dating Parody



Amazon Dating is a parody of what dating might look like if Jeff Bezos got into the business. It's not a real Amazon project, but it sure looks like one. It was created in association with Thinko, an animation studio that’s done other parody sites before, such as ScamDaddy and WhoPaid99Cents.


Instead of finding a compatible mate, on Amazon Dating you purchase them for a listed price with a 30-day money back guarantee. Many are available on "Prime" with one-hour free delivery. That's helpful.


It lists potential matches, provides pictures and details their strengths, like Alex, 22, who is "the one human who tips their Uber driver" and "will postmates you soup from work if you are actually sick." Or, Phil, 32, who "eats cheetos with a pair of chopsticks."


At first, it's amusing, but then you get to the reviews and things deteriorate quickly as you realize that the individuals seeking matches are treated as commodities, like shoes or a new laptop. For instance one faux reviewer wrote this about Grace, 30: "Works as you'd imagine! A little bit trickier to turn on, which is kind of frustrating if you're a perfectionist. Still, one of the most powerful you'll get for the price."


Another review, writing about Cora, 78, says "I bought this as a birthday present to my single self in November. Had a good life, really enjoyed, easy to hold. But it died just last month! it was working at like half strength. it was extremely weak and then it died completely. I expected a reliable product but it's not worth the buy if it dies only a few months later. Very disappointing!"


So, yes, it gets a bit icky, and perhaps that's the point. It's not a parody of Amazon, it's a statement about the toxic nature of America's online dating culture.


#culture

By: Don Lam & Curated Content

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